Right now I feel like I am beginning to climb out of a dark canyon that I have been in for a long time. This past year was the most difficult year of my life and the last two before that were really hard as well. I don't want to write about all of it today, but someday I probably will. I am realizing more and more how much I appreciate genuineness and being transparent with those around you. If you ask me how I am doing, I am going to try really hard to be honest and tell you.
But finally now there is hope and light and a future that is possible in front of me, and my husband and kids. Alex started a new job about 3 weeks ago. It is full time. With benefits. I know that personally, I had to go through this season of having so little to really appreciate having anything at all. We have (thankfully) had excellent renters for our townhouse, which then enabled us to move in with the in-laws these last 4 months. And thus began an extremely difficult time in my life and marriage (nothing to do WITH the in-laws, actually) and led us to this job, and moving, and Alex stepping down from his 2nd job he had at our church, and led us to where we are now, a fresh start.
I don't think I've ever been more relieved, appreciative, and excited to be able to say with confidence that there is a new beginning, a revival. a new meaning coming to our family in 2013. And no, I'm not pregnant! Yikes. We are moving to a completely new area, far enough away from friends and family that it will give us this opportunity to change the way that we have been doing family. There are so many little things that we are changing that will result in, what we believe, to be God's best for our family. The biggest thing being stepping away from a lot of great things that we were involved in but that took us away from our top priorities. Out relationship with God and our marriage.
So the next month is going to be a busy one of packing and transitions. I am trying to really think through what we need and what we can do without. And even with this I am so thankful for the opportunity to do these things.
Leaving with a thought for today in relation to the thought of trying to be more genuine: I am reading a book by Dr. Juli Slattery called, "Beyond the Masquerade, Unveiling the Authentic You" In there she says, "I am more convinced than ever that God's truth, wisdom, and power shine through our weaknesses far greater than our strengths. It's only when we're lacking that we are driven to our knees to seek Him."
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