Studying

I was not always the best student, I didn't really like to study and hated taking tests. As I've gotten older I've realized the value in being a life-long learner. Especially of Gods word. Whether I'm ready or not, I want to take every opportunity to teach my kids, and I want to instill in them a love for learning.

This year I am doing a little schooling with Evy every week. We talk about one letter of the alphabet and do crafts and activities related to that letter. She is also memorizing one verse a week that has that letter at the beginning of the verse.

She and Liam are also going to two Bible Studies with me this year, and I'm so thankful I can be a part of them.

The first study is on the book of Hebrews with some ladies from my church, and the second study is the book of Matthew, which is in a BSF group in Eagan, MN. I am learning so much every week, and its a big time commitment but like I said, I'm so thankful that I can go and for the great children's program that BSF offers.

I thought I would do a little report every week on what I'm learning because its easy for time to go on and for me to forget what I learned in weeks past!

Hebrews:

This is a very deep study by John McArthur that takes me a lot of time to get through. A big theme in Hebrews is the supremacy of Jesus Christ. And a big part of this first section of Hebrews (1-2:18) was about who Jesus is. One aspect of Jesus Christ that I wanted to spend more time thinking about was that Jesus is the "express image of His person" (meaning God's) or "the exact imprint of His nature" So He has all of the same qualities that God has. He is always with us, He sees all things, He knows all things, He radiates the glory of God, His love NEVER fails! What really struck me was that despite being so magnificent, and because of His great love that we can't even fully comprehend, He chose to come to earth, despised and rejected, by ME. And died on a cross, so that I could call His Father, MY Father. I have been reminded who I am, and who God is, and I am so thankful that because of what Jesus did for me on the cross, I get to have a relationship with Him.

This has given me a renewed desire to be humble. Pastor Dan Miller at Eden Baptist talked about this on Sunday, how, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble" (1 Peter 5:5) I used to just focus in the humility part, that we would receive grace, I had never really thought about those who are prideful being an enemy to God. I'm prideful. It's something that I really need to work on that God is showing me more and more this week. The pastor also talked about those who are persecuted. They are not mighty warriors who are out in the battle field, fighting for truth. No, it is the humble servant, who is willing to do whatever God has planned for him. Whatever hardships the humble servant is going through, it does not matter because he has God's grace to conquer the difficulties!

Matthew:

So at BSF they really encourage you to pray before you begin your study and ask God to show Himself to you through His word. Again, my faith was challenged. We are in the first two chapters of Matthew and talking about Christs genealogy and the people that God chose to be part of Jesus' heritage. There are five amazing women of faith named: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary. All of their examples of obedience and faith really amazes me. I was able to have some time to reflect on Mary specifically and realize how quickly she accepted what God had for her. There she was, a young, excited bride-to-be, pure and innocent, when all of a sudden her world was turned upside down. Yet her response was obedience. She had humility and she was exalted, just like God promises us, 1 Peter 5:6. She was blessed, Luke 1:45, because she believed The Lord! There were no cries or complaints, or, "let me pray about it". She knew what God wanted and was ready to be used. What an encouragement she is to me, may I have the faith to respond the way these women did that were a part of His story.

 There are a few of you who know that I have wanted a DSLR camera for quite a few years now. For most, and by most I mean what seems like ALL of my friends and family, it is not a big deal to get a camera- these days everybody has one. But Alex and I felt like it was not something that we could justify buying when our finances were so up in the air. But finally this Christmas Alex TOTALLY surprised me- which NEVER happens! And got me a Canon Rebel t3. I am still learning how to use it and what aperture even means- which is how much light the lens lets in... I think... :) But I am so thankful for it and here are a few shots of many more to come of the kiddos!

This is a very accurate portrayal of my sweet boy. He always has a smile ready! I hope that he has such a sweet countenance his whole life. 

And of course, here he is making is adorable"Oooh!" sound. He makes this face a lot too!

 A lot of people ask me about the necklace. It is an Amber teething necklace. Google it! The properties in the Amber are supposed to relieve pain in the jaw and mouth area due to teething. The necklace is also supposed to help with drooling. I have noticed a slight improvement on the drooling and a definite improvement in irritability with pain. He still wants to bite down hard on things when his gums are bothering him, but he doesn't usually ever cry. This could also be because of his great temperament. Ha! Well, I leave it on because it doesn't seem to bother him anyway.

This is a great classic pose. Might have to actually print a picture...

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My gorgeous girl. Let me tell you, she has been so easy lately! Not. I'm pretty sure we are digressing with the potty training just because she wants to spite me. It's one of the main things she has control over and she wants to keep it that way. If anyone knows what I need to do- let me know. For now, we are taking a break. From the potty training, not from each other...

And a new favorite. I love my kids so much and even though the days can be long sometimes, and it is a financial sacrifice, I am SO thankful that I can stay home with them.

William Alexander

On January 13th I was finally able to go home. I walked out of the hospital for the first time in 45 days. I rode in a car for the first time in 45 days. I saw the world again. I gained so much perspective from my time on bed rest there, it changed me so much as a person and I am still realizing that even now. One thing is for sure, I never take my time with my family for granted. I am thankful every night when I go to bed and my husband is there to hold me.

I quickly transitioned back to life at home, and didn't really have any scary moments at all. Slowly I began to be more active and independent, and it was great feeling like a normal mom again. Evy was exttremely attached to Daddy after everything that happened, but thankfully I was having a chance to enjoy her and focus on bonding again before the new baby came. At this point we still did not know the gender and were having a hard time coming up with a name for a girl- thankfully we didn't have to!

Over Valentines Day weekend Alex and I stayed at a local Bed and Breakfast in Stillwater- a place we have been to a couple times now and really love. I was so glad we were able to share that special time together even though we knew the baby could come at any time.

The week leading up to Liam's birth I had been having contractions more often in the evening but they would soon fade off before I even went to bed. I remember thinking that we were probably pretty close. Finally, on March 3rd, I was 37 weeks and in the clear. We all took a sigh of relief. I could have the baby any time!

I was feeling somewhat nostalgic and nervous about having the baby, not as prepared and excited as I would have liked. I was still just beginning to feel like I was back into the swing of things, and not sure if I was going to be able to handle the big change. Well, the night of March 4th I remember talking to my Dad for awhile about his new girlfriend, we were so excited, he hasn't dated since I was in high school and we couldn't wait to see what would happen for him in the future. I told him I was having contractions and kind of jokingly said, "this could be the night!" But I didn't really believe it yet.

Well instead of slowing down I started having more and more contractions and started getting kind of excited. Alex and I went downstairs to talk to my sister-in-law who was living with us at the time and her fiance. My sister-in-law had been at Evy's birth and I was hoping she would be able to come to this next one as well. About midnight we went to bed even though I was beginning to be in a lot of pain. The night went by quickly, and about four in the morning my sister-in-law knocked on out door and told us we better go to the hospital. I was groaning more than I thought!

The rest of the labor went quite quickly, once I was up contractions came quickly and by the time we got to the hospital around 6:30 am, I was dilated to an 8! Good thing she told us to go in!! I wanted 2 of my closest friends, Heidi and Sam there, as well as my mother-in-law. I knew that this would be a special memory I would share with all of them. I had a midwife, and student midwife who actually delivered the baby and did everything, she was really great.

The room was really calm and quiet in those early morning hours and I was just focused on getting through each contraction, squeezing Alex's hand tightly when one came.

Finally (to me) it was time to start pushing. And like the last time with Evy, the contractions were not very strong to help me push her out. I didn't want to move at all but the midwife new that if anything was going to happen, I would have to get up and get gravity to help me. So up I went and sat down on the toilet. I knew that it was going to hurt so much but that I would have to push with the next contraction that was coming, so I took a deep breath and pushed as hard as I could. Which followed with me half yelling, half bellowing because I swear the baby just flew down my birth canal like a slide. I seriously thought the baby was going to fall out! So they quickly got me back to the bed and two quick pushes later...

 Our sweet precious BOY was born! We were so surprised and just thrilled. And the first thing I said with him was exclaiming how tiny he was! He was SO small, 5 pounds, 12 ounces. He had a beautiful face and brown hair which I had been hoping for.

 We were both ecstatic. We had wanted a boy so badly, but didn't want to get our hopes up so we tried not to think about it too much. And then when he came, we couldn't even wrap our minds around it. It really took me a good month to fully comprehend that I had a son. If you notice how unusually pale Alex looks in these pictures it's because he almost fainted! Like I said before, the last few moments of the delivery were extremely intense!

 The first day in the hospital when your baby is born is seriously the BEST! I remember sitting there as our family came to meet him and reminding myself to just soak it all up. It was a beautiful, unusually warm sunny day and the weather perfectly matched how I was feeling.

 Becoming a mother of two. What a blessing and a privilege. It took me a long time to adjust, but that's a whole other post :)

Thanks for reading the birth story! I can't believe that in just 2 short months we will be celebrating Liams first Birthday!






 

Starting FRESH in 2013

Right now I feel like I am beginning to climb out of a dark canyon that I have been in for a long time. This past year was the most difficult year of my life and the last two before that were really hard as well. I don't want to write about all of it today, but someday I probably will. I am realizing more and more how much I appreciate genuineness and being transparent with those around you. If you ask me how I am doing, I am going to try really hard to be honest and tell you.

But finally now there is hope and light and a future that is possible in front of me, and my husband and kids. Alex started a new job about 3 weeks ago. It is full time. With benefits. I know that personally, I had to go through this season of having so little to really appreciate having anything at all. We have (thankfully) had excellent renters for our townhouse, which then enabled us to move in with the in-laws these last 4 months. And thus began an extremely difficult time in my life and marriage (nothing to do WITH the in-laws, actually) and led us to this job, and moving, and Alex stepping down from his 2nd job he had at our church, and led us to where we are now, a fresh start.

I don't think I've ever been more relieved, appreciative, and excited to be able to say with confidence that there is a new beginning, a revival. a new meaning coming to our family in 2013. And no, I'm not pregnant! Yikes. We are moving to a completely new area, far enough away from friends and family that it will give us this opportunity to change the way that we have been doing family. There are so many little things that we are changing that will result in, what we believe, to be God's best for our family. The biggest thing being stepping away from a lot of great things that we were involved in but that took us away from our top priorities. Out relationship with God and our marriage.

So the next month is going to be a busy one of packing and transitions. I am trying to really think through what we need and what we can do without. And even with this I am so thankful for the opportunity to do these things.

Leaving with a thought for today in relation to the thought of trying to be more genuine: I am reading a book by Dr. Juli Slattery called, "Beyond the Masquerade, Unveiling the Authentic You" In there she says, "I am more convinced than ever that God's truth, wisdom, and power shine through our weaknesses far greater than our strengths. It's only when we're lacking that we are driven to our knees to seek Him."