November 7

There are many things to write about today, so here it goes.

I just did all my grocery shopping online. It was harder than I anticipated, so I didn't love it, but I am thankful for the option of sitting at home and doing it all online, and receiving it the next day right at my door. I guess I wont take it for granted when I can start going out and getting them myself again.

I am at a new clinic this time with this baby. I was looking for a place that had midwives and was also into more preventative care. They have done a great job of keeping a close eye on me, which is great. I have been getting ultrasound every 4 weeks to measure my cervix and make sure that I am not starting preterm labor again. well at my 15 week ultrasound everything was looking really really great and I was encouraged thinking maybe this pregnancy would be different. We went to Denver, had a really great time, I've been feeling the baby move a lot, and just been feeling really great overall. I don't remember feeling this good with Evy. So I had my 20 week ultrasound last week and found out that my cervix had shortened 2 cm which was way too much. Especially in only 4 weeks. Right away I got the 17p shot which gives me extra progesterone in the hopes that it will make my body keep the baby in longer. I was also told I need to lie down when Evy is napping, and be careful about how much I pick her up. Along with that comes cutting out other activities that will help me take it easy. So I am no longer going to BSF, which is a bummer because I LOVED studying Acts, there is so much that I was learning. Also little things like grocery shopping, there is a lot of lifting involved there so that's another thing that I can cut back on. I am still working out the details, but I really hope that if I do these things, maybe complete bedrest wont happen this time, and life can go on as normal for Evy.

Whew. Now you are updated.

Evy is seriously so so so sweet. I cannot believe how much fun I am having with her. Usually she is a Daddy's girls but I swear the minute I came home from the Dr appt last week she just wants mama all the time. Ha ha ha. She is so verbal and mimicking everything we say. It is so fun to see everything that she learns every day. I am really proud of her.

Today marks the 12 year of my mothers passing. I don't really have any special memories about this day, I don't really enjoy thinking about the day that she passed but it means a lot to me that people close to me remember what this day is.

When I think of my mom, which I do often, usually I wonder what it would be like to have her here now. I wonder what she would think of my life, of Alex, and Evy. I wonder what it would be like to have her around at times like this, when I especially need help with keeping up on everyday life. I guess most of those things are selfish thoughts on how it would be different in my life, but that is just what I wonder. I can't imagine going through what she went through knowing she had to leave her babies too early. That part is the hardest to think about.

I am thankful for what time I did have with her. I am thankful for the fact that I will see her again one day. I am thankful for my God, who has a plan for my life, and all I have to do is simply trust Him. I am thankful that my God chooses to allow difficult things in my life because it has deepened my faith and brought me closer to Him. And I am thankful for peace that really does pass understanding.